Saturday, December 31, 2005

Is Adoption a Human Rights Issue?

Take a look at this article from The Korea Times on domestic adoption and the large number of children who find themselves in legal limbo.

No ‘Home Sweet Home’ for Adoptees

Thursday, December 29, 2005

APs - Prepare to be offended - Par Deux

Harsh, funny, and it does a good job of skewing a lot of the adoption triad PC language. Get past the obvious and you'll see a lot of poignant truth.

(And I always cringe at the "Born in the wrong tummy", "Meant to be" crap. I have no idea what is meant to be. For me or any of my children, bio and adopted. I just know what is and that we all have to find a way of dealing with 'what is', whatever that may be, best we can.)

Bastardly Toy Box

Sunday, December 25, 2005

It's Time for a Change

I've been a small business owner for almost 19 years but never afford to pay for health insurance for myself or my staff. (I always depended on my spouse for coverage.)

Today, while my spouse continues to look for enhanced work opportunities, he works at a job that's important, but doesn't pay particularly well - but it offers federal benefits.

So he, like so many others, basically works for the benefits. And that frankly, sucks. I think many of us would start new businesses, go for the gold and gusto, etc. if we knew we wouldn't put ourselves and families at risk of losing the all-important health insurance.

And G-d help you if you have a break in coverage.

I think it's time for a change. Check out the link below and add your boice. It's time for sanity in health care coverage.

Access to Health: An American Values Initiative
We believe access to affordable healthcare is a right - not a privilege.

Saturday, December 24, 2005

My baby turns 7

Today my youngest child turns age 7. We had a Sleepover Princess Party for her and a few friends. A first sleepover for all concerned, all went well except for one little girl who at 2:30am decided she didn't like our cat glaring at her. So she and I slept in my little one's room, me in the captain's bed and little friend in her sleeping bag.

I slept awful and awoke to strawberry-banana pancakes, made by hubby, with a raging headache. At almost 51, I'm getting way too old for this #$#%^$%!@.

Or maybe not :=)

Our tradition for our adopted son and daughter is to light an extra candle on their birthday cake in honor of their birth mothers. We light a candle and make a wish and a prayer for their good health. Daughter was too excited to really focus on this with so many gifts to unwrap but I do, and will continue, to try and make real this "shadow" mother in her life.

She is so very real to me. At 4am listening in the dark to the measured breathing of the child not mine in a little pink bedroom, I think about this woman and what brought her to make such a wrenching decision. I think about how different (and not different) daughter's life would have been raised in Korea by her birth parents and/or birth mother.

And I grieve for all, even if daughter herself does not appear to grieve.

Daughter, however, still doesn't seem much interested in any of it. (In contrast to my son who is VERY interested in his Korean parents and wants to know so much more.) She is content in her present. I don't expect it will always be that way, and I'm gearing myself for her particular set of questions, but for now, she is who she is.

Wishing all of you a happy, healthy and peaceful Christmas and Chanukkah. (Another week of gifts ... oh joy!)

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Celebrity Adoption - Korea Style

Two related articles about a celebrity couple in Korea adopting a baby girl

Article 1

Article 2

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Wretched Excess for 13 year olds

Saw this article in The Washington Post Style Section Today. The wild, over-the-top of Bar and Bat Mitzvah receptions in NYC.

13 and Counting: In N.Y., Bar and Bat Mitzvah Parties Add Up to Lavish, Theatrical Events

And where is G-d in all this tumult? Hiding for sure. Throwing up? Definitely.

In contrast to my co-religionists in the north, we had an extremely modest afternoon luncheon at our home to celebrate our eldest daughter's Bat Mitzvah. Her dad and I were married in that house and it struck me that a reception there, before we moved, made poetic sense. We had about 50 people, and hired a DJ so the kids could dance outside on the deck. The house was shining clean and filled with flowers, the landscaping perfect, the food was great, served well, and family and friends ate, drank and laughed.

It really was perfect. And while not cheap, we didn't sacrifice our retirement nest egg for a 13-year old's party.

Even in our small, relatively working class former congregation, having the reception at home, as opposed to an outside venue, was, shall we say, unusual.

But hey, that's always been part of my abundant charm.


PBS documentary -- Tuesday, December 13 -- 10PM
Tonight at 10PM, PBS will show the documentary Seoul Train.

In the riveting documentary SEOUL TRAIN, filmmakers Jim Butterworth, Lisa Sleeth and Aaron Lubarsky expose the life-and-death struggle faced by North Koreans who attempt to flee their homeland through China, a country that does not recognize their legal status as refugees.

File under: Sure Why Not, It's About Time

This is something long overdue. Contact your US Congressional Rep and let 'em know.

HR 487: Korean American Day January 13!

FYI, on Tuesday afternoon the House will take up a measure (H.Res. 487) "supporting the goals and ideals of Korean American Day". The resolution was introduced by Tom Davis and has 54 cosponsors.

H.Res. 487 is being considered under "suspension of the rules",
which is an expedited procedure reserved for noncontroversial
measures. A 2/3 vote is required for passage and no amendments are

The Senate also has a similar measure (S. Res. 283), introduced by
Sens. George Allen and Dick Durbin. It has yet to be brought up in
committee or on the Senate floor.

Here's the text of the House resolution:

1st Session
H. RES. 487
Supporting the goals and ideals of Korean American Day.
October 7, 2005
Mr. TOM DAVIS of Virginia (for himself, Mr. RANGEL, Mr. CAPUANO, and
Mr. ROYCE) submitted the following resolution; which was referred to
the Committee on Government Reform
Supporting the goals and ideals of Korean American Day.

Whereas the influence of Korean Americans may be observed in all
facets of American life, including entrepreneurship, the arts, and

Whereas on January 13, 1903, 102 pioneer Korean immigrants arrived
in the United States initiating the first chapter of Korean
immigration to America;

Whereas ! the centennial year of 2003 marked an important milestone
in the history of Korean immigration;

Whereas Korean Americans, like other groups of immigrants that came
to the United States before them, have settled and thrived in the
United States through strong family ties, community support, and
hard work;

Whereas Korean Americans have made significant contributions to the
economic vitality of the United States and the global marketplace;

Whereas Korean Americans have invigorated businesses, churches, and
academic communities in the United States;

Whereas Korean Americans have made enormous contributions to the
military strength of the United States;

Whereas today, at least 4,000 Korean Americans serve in the Armed
Forces of the United States, with approximately 25 percent of them
currently serving in Iraq; and

Whereas the Centennial Committees of Korean Immigration and Kore! an
Americans have designated January 13 of each year as `Korean
American Day' to commemorate the first step of the long and
prosperous journey of Korean Americans in the United States: Now,
therefore, be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives--
(1) supports the goals and ideals of a Korean American Day;
(2) urges all Americans to observe Korean American Day so as to have
a greater appreciation of the invaluable contributions Korean
Americans have made to United States; and
(3) honors and recognizes the 103rd anniversary of the arrival of
the first Korean immigrants to the United States.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Tom Teska - Funny Comic, Angry KAD

I have a thing for comics. (I spent about a year doing stand-up about a million years ago. And yes, I know Jerry Seinfeld. We went to Parkside Junior High School in Massapequa NY. I have the graduation program to prove it, too. Thanks for saving it, Grandma.)

Tom Teska is a very funny guy. He's also an adult Korean adoptee. Here's a sample from his blog. Prepare to be offended. Then read the rest of the blog. Some great stuff.

Tom Teska - South Korea Needs Babies

Korea Single Moms, Divorced or Widowed, and Their Kids - Tough Going

When we wonder why unmarried women in Korea still consider adoption as a viable option, here's another look as to why

Single mothers work, shop, help with homework, and are often challenged by the numerous demands of family life. In the eyes of their children they are often heroes, but in South Korea, single parents are treated with disdain