Thinking about Dads

** My father died in 1975 at 51 from a heart attack. With today's cardiac pharma and technology, I have no doubt he would have survived that first attack and might even still be with us. He was a stout, outwardly gruff man with a tri-color van dyke goatee and thick Hungarian accent. He was super-smart, soft as mush on the inside, a progressive-thinker, and one of the most tolerant individuals I've ever known.

Folks say I have his personality. Perhaps I do with a few more prickles. There isn't a day I don't think of him or use one of his "dad-isms" in a story or post. My kids love the stories about Grandpa Harry.

It's important to note that my dad didn't have his dad, my Grandpa Sam, in his life for the first 13 years of his life. Grandpa left Czechoslovakia for the US when dad was 6 months old. It took Hitler and a 13-year old who wanted to know his father to get my grandmother to finally leave Europe. After Pearl Harbor, my dad at 17 volunteered for the Army and remained in service until he was 22.

The whole dad thing was a mystery to him, but he was charming in his sometimes awkwardness. G-d, I miss him.

** My husband takes his fatherhood duties with great seriousness and responsibility, but the everyday of it still gives him pause. His own dad was and is a standoffish dad and grandpa. Little talking, little sharing, little much of anything substantial. So I play parent coach when necessary :=)

Last night (as we do every Saturday night) was movie night. We watched "Cheaper by the Dozen 2." At the end, a baby is born and a family regroups, recognizing children grow up and out. Hubby was all misty as he gets when the same scenario is played in other movies. Unlike his own dad, the dad to my kids "gets" it.

** My youngest children's birth dads. These are men who are generally cyphers in my children's thoughts. These men are relegated to wisps of biology as my children talk about their first moms with far more interest and regularity, even when I remind them it took 2 people to make them and try to bring the birth dad into the discussion.

But I'll continue to try, to make real the male side of my children's equation.