Teen Moms Who Parent Their Babies

We hear much about how hard it is to raise a baby alone and/or with few resources. Here's an article about a few teen married mom in Korea and their struggle.

Teen married mothers grope for identity

More on Toby Dawson

Looks like someone has stepped forward believing he is Toby's biological father.

Korean Claims to Be Biological Father of US Olympic Medalist

There is some resemblance. But only DNA will tell for sure.

Ok, I'm not proud of this, but ...

I happen to adore "bad celebrity plastic surgery" - it just makes me feel a whole lot better about myself at 51, since (honestly) I look better at 51 than a lot of pop-eyed, tight-faced, botoxed celebs do at 40. (Although I do flirt from time to time with a little under-eye and mini-neck lift.)

I'll buy the National Enquirer everytime they run one of these issues. (Check out last week's issue, it's a doozy.)

I have a new favorite website - Awful Plastic Surgery.

Hope you enjoy this time waster as much as I do!

And how about Hines Ward?

Not an adoption story, but a different take on traditional Korean views on lineage.

From The Korean Herald - Editorial.

[EDITORIAL]Xenophobia on spotlight

Toby Dawson - Two Media Takes - US & Korean

Are you following Toby Dawson's exciting Olympic work? I thought you'd find these 2 articles of interest. One is from MSNBC, the other from The Korea Times.

From Orphan to Olympian
Adjusting to the American way wasn't always easy for Toby Dawson

US Skier Seeks Korean Parents

In many ways, she was the mother to us all...

For women of a certain age, Betty Friedan was one of the most amazing, spectacular revolutionaries of the day. She galvanized a generation of women, myself included. Many of the civil rights women take for granted today came, in large part, because of Betty and her vision.

Rest well, Betty.
And thank you.

Dry Ear Wax - It's a gene thing

There's no question by two kidlets from Korea came to me with dry, flaky ear wax. Very common in Asian populations. (Piper had a truly spectacular build up as a toddler. The kind doctors talk about amongst themselves. The kind that can keep a kid from hearing well.

That's when I got the ear "scoop."

I have a Korean-type ear scoop thing that I use to keep the kids' ears clean. Very gently and not deep. And while it may be an Asian thing, my eldest daughter has it, too, so she gets scooped from time to time, also.

UPDATE! You can get your very own ear scoop at Dr. Leondards! Click the banner and do a search for ear scoop.



In any case, here's an interesting article about the whole deal - and it comes down to a single gene.

Read more about it here...

Gene found that determines type of earwax

And now for something completely different.

Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I don't want ANYONE but my kid's doctor checking his "pepper" ...

Penis-Pinching Teacher Fined W5 Million

Another Reason for Adoption?

Not sure what to think or make of this situation at all. My children became available for adoption because their unmarried birthmoms were in an untenable situation. This? I just don't know...

New Immigration Strategy: Koreans Send Children to America for Adoption

For such a smart county, how did we get so stupid?

Okay, another rant from the "are you shitting me?" department...

Got a call from the school nurse that my eldest needed some Advil for cramps. (Stupidity #1 - with a well-meaning zero drug policy in place, teenaged girls with cramps can't keep Advil in their backpacks. I can't give the school nurse a bottle of Advil with my kid's name on it. I have to get a doctor's note so that the nurse can give my kid 2 Advil. When I was in middle school, I carried my own Midol. (Not that it did any good, but it was reasonable.)

Okay, here's my big Stupidity #2. Bring daughter her Advil. I told her to give the medicine about 15-20 minutes to take effect. I asked the nurse if she had a hot water bottle my daughter could have for a little while.

Now get this

Nurse: "We can't do hot. We can only do cold."

Me: :: silent :: You can only do cold. You can't do hot. So if my kid sprained something, you could do cold. But if heat were indicated, you couldn't do anything.

Nurse: Yes, that's right.

Me: Nothing hot.

Nurse: Yes.

Me: How about hot tea?

Nurse: No, we can't do that either.

(No tea? When I was a little girl back in the lame-o, we didn't know anything 60s and 70s, thr school nurse always had tea brewing. It was magic and comforting.)

So tell me ... when did we all get so incredibly stupid?

I left my kid at school to manage 15 minutes without a little extra help of a simple hot water bottle. I guess next time, I'll have to bring that, too ... and a doctor's note.

The Dark Side of Adoption

From USA Today ...

Underground network moves children from home to home

If this article points to anything, it's that adoptive parents need and should be required to have specific training/education prior to their child's arrival and for some time after.

I hear from some prospective parents, and certainly monitor enough adoption boards to know, that too many of these well-meaning people DON'T HAVE A FREAKING CLUE about what they're getting ready to take on and it's the children who continue to suffer, over and over again.

Asian-Americans - The Next Generation

From Time Magazine ... not about adopted Korean-Americans, but it does have a lot to say about the experience of Asian-Americans who feel betwixt and between cultures and expectations.

Between Two Worlds
Born in the U.S.A. to Asian Parents, a Generation of Immigrants' Kids Forges a New Identity

Where are all the Indian Girls?

Disturbing article on yet one more reason for the growing "girl-deficit" on the Asian continent.

India's 'girl deficit' deepest among educated

Will someone please shut this man up?

From AP - NORFOLK, Va. (Jan. 5) - Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson suggested Thursday that Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon's stroke was divine punishment for "dividing God's land."

Pat, Pat, Pat ... don't you have grandchildren to play with or something. Won't someone finally have mercy on us and take this man's microphone away?

Is Adoption a Human Rights Issue?

Take a look at this article from The Korea Times on domestic adoption and the large number of children who find themselves in legal limbo.

No ‘Home Sweet Home’ for Adoptees

APs - Prepare to be offended - Par Deux

Harsh, funny, and it does a good job of skewing a lot of the adoption triad PC language. Get past the obvious and you'll see a lot of poignant truth.

(And I always cringe at the "Born in the wrong tummy", "Meant to be" crap. I have no idea what is meant to be. For me or any of my children, bio and adopted. I just know what is and that we all have to find a way of dealing with 'what is', whatever that may be, best we can.)

Bastardly Toy Box

It's Time for a Change

I've been a small business owner for almost 19 years but never afford to pay for health insurance for myself or my staff. (I always depended on my spouse for coverage.)

Today, while my spouse continues to look for enhanced work opportunities, he works at a job that's important, but doesn't pay particularly well - but it offers federal benefits.

So he, like so many others, basically works for the benefits. And that frankly, sucks. I think many of us would start new businesses, go for the gold and gusto, etc. if we knew we wouldn't put ourselves and families at risk of losing the all-important health insurance.

And G-d help you if you have a break in coverage.

I think it's time for a change. Check out the link below and add your boice. It's time for sanity in health care coverage.

Access to Health: An American Values Initiative
We believe access to affordable healthcare is a right - not a privilege.

My baby turns 7

Today my youngest child turns age 7. We had a Sleepover Princess Party for her and a few friends. A first sleepover for all concerned, all went well except for one little girl who at 2:30am decided she didn't like our cat glaring at her. So she and I slept in my little one's room, me in the captain's bed and little friend in her sleeping bag.

I slept awful and awoke to strawberry-banana pancakes, made by hubby, with a raging headache. At almost 51, I'm getting way too old for this #$#%^$%!@.

Or maybe not :=)

Our tradition for our adopted son and daughter is to light an extra candle on their birthday cake in honor of their birth mothers. We light a candle and make a wish and a prayer for their good health. Daughter was too excited to really focus on this with so many gifts to unwrap but I do, and will continue, to try and make real this "shadow" mother in her life.

She is so very real to me. At 4am listening in the dark to the measured breathing of the child not mine in a little pink bedroom, I think about this woman and what brought her to make such a wrenching decision. I think about how different (and not different) daughter's life would have been raised in Korea by her birth parents and/or birth mother.

And I grieve for all, even if daughter herself does not appear to grieve.

Daughter, however, still doesn't seem much interested in any of it. (In contrast to my son who is VERY interested in his Korean parents and wants to know so much more.) She is content in her present. I don't expect it will always be that way, and I'm gearing myself for her particular set of questions, but for now, she is who she is.

Wishing all of you a happy, healthy and peaceful Christmas and Chanukkah. (Another week of gifts ... oh joy!)

Celebrity Adoption - Korea Style

Two related articles about a celebrity couple in Korea adopting a baby girl

Article 1

Article 2

Wretched Excess for 13 year olds

Saw this article in The Washington Post Style Section Today. The wild, over-the-top of Bar and Bat Mitzvah receptions in NYC.

13 and Counting: In N.Y., Bar and Bat Mitzvah Parties Add Up to Lavish, Theatrical Events

And where is G-d in all this tumult? Hiding for sure. Throwing up? Definitely.

In contrast to my co-religionists in the north, we had an extremely modest afternoon luncheon at our home to celebrate our eldest daughter's Bat Mitzvah. Her dad and I were married in that house and it struck me that a reception there, before we moved, made poetic sense. We had about 50 people, and hired a DJ so the kids could dance outside on the deck. The house was shining clean and filled with flowers, the landscaping perfect, the food was great, served well, and family and friends ate, drank and laughed.

It really was perfect. And while not cheap, we didn't sacrifice our retirement nest egg for a 13-year old's party.

Even in our small, relatively working class former congregation, having the reception at home, as opposed to an outside venue, was, shall we say, unusual.

But hey, that's always been part of my abundant charm.